Multi-Messenger Astrology
High Energy Astrophysical Phenomena
2024-04-01 v1 Instrumentation and Methods for Astrophysics
High Energy Physics - Phenomenology
Abstract
It has long been accepted that the cosmos determine our personalities, relationships, and even our fate. Unlike our condensed matter colleagues - who regularly use quantum mechanics to determine the healing properties of crystals - astrology techniques have been unchanged since the 19th century. In this paper, we discuss how astrophysical messengers beyond starlight can be used to predict the future and excuse an fraction of our negative personality traits.
Keywords
Cite
@article{arxiv.2403.19749,
title = {Multi-Messenger Astrology},
author = {Gwen Walker and Nick Ekanger and R. Andrew Gustafson and Sean Heston},
journal= {arXiv preprint arXiv:2403.19749},
year = {2024}
}
Comments
4 pages, 3 figures, submission for Acta Prima Aprilia