Functional John and L\"owner conditions for pairs of log-concave functions

John's fundamental theorem characterizing the largest volume ellipsoid contained in a convex body $K$ in $\mathbb{R}^d$ has seen several generalizations and extensions. One direction, initiated by V. Milman is to replace ellipsoids by positions (affine images) of another body $L$. Another, more recent direction is to consider logarithmically concave functions on $\mathbb{R}^d$ instead of convex bodies: we designate some special, radially symmetric log-concave function $g$ as the analogue of the Euclidean ball, and want to find its largest integral position under the constraint that it is pointwise below some given log-concave function $f$. We follow both directions simultaneously: we consider the functional question, and allow essentially any meaningful function to play the role of $g$ above. Our general theorems jointly extend known results in both directions. The dual problem in the setting of convex bodies asks for the smallest volume ellipsoid, called \emph{L{\"o}wner's ellipsoid}, containing $K$. We consider the analogous problem for functions: we characterize the solutions of the optimization problem of finding a smallest integral position of some log-concave function $g$ under the constraint that it is pointwise above $f$. It turns out that in the functional setting, the relationship between the John and the L{\"o}wner problems is more intricate than it is in the setting of convex bodies.