Fun with Higgsless Theories

Motivated by recent works on ``Higgsless theories,'' I discuss an $SU(2)_0\times SU(2)^{N}\times U(1)$ gauge theory with arbitrary bifundamental (or custodial SU(2) preserving) symmetry breaking between the gauge subgroups and with ordinary matter transforming only under the U(1) and $SU(2)_0$. When the couplings, $g_j$, of the other SU(2)s are very large, this reproduces the standard model at the tree level. I calculate the $W$ and $Z$ masses and other electroweak parameters in a perturbative expansion in $1/g_j^2$, and give physical interpretations of the results in a mechanical analog built out of masses and springs. In the mechanical analog, it is clear that even for arbitrary patterns of symmetry breaking, it is not possible (in the perturbative regime) to raise the Higgs mass by a large factor while keeping the $S$ parameter small.