Computing Your Ideal Haircut Routine

We introduce stochastically resetting deterministic processes -- the simplest subclass of general resetting stochastic processes -- finding them to be repackaged renewal processes. In particular, we consider the stochastically resetting deterministic process undergoing linear growth of rate 1 subject to Poissonian resetting and deduce its marginal, expectation, and variance. Then, using these results, we construct a stochastic model for hair growth subject to regular haircuts and use this model to prescribe the reader's ideal haircut routine.